I wish I had more spoons.
Have you heard about the spoon theory?
The spoon theory was a story written by Christine Miserandino to help explain to her friend what it’s like having a chronic illness. You can read the original story here: https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/.
In a nutshell, imagine your energy as a pile of spoons.
You start each day with a pile of spoons. Each day you only get a fixed number of spoons. Here, I’ll give you a pile.
pile of spoons on black background
Every task you do requires you to “spend” spoons.
Some tasks take one spoon, others take multiple spoons. How many spoons a task uses up is generally related to how easy a task is to accomplish. But in my experience, spoon usage per task is really individual, and influenced by lots of things.
When you are healthy, you have nearly unlimited spoons.
Healthy bodies are built to titrate energy throughout the day, storing and using energy as needed. If you get tired, healthy bodies rest and recharge quickly, and are able to access energy stores relatively easily if something unexpected comes up.
But for some of us, there aren’t always enough spoons to make it through a day, and we “run out of spoons”.
“Running out of spoons” means that you have hit a wall and just. can’t. do. one. more. thing. For me, this feels like the car has sputtered to a stop and you can’t turn the engine over no matter how hard you try or what you do. My muscles don’t respond to my brain requests, my thoughts are not very coherent, and it takes very little for me to burst into tears. The takeaway is that once you run out of spoons for the day, you don’t get any more until the next day. You can borrow spoons from the next day, but that usually means you start the next day with fewer spoons and you might be more likely to run out.
If your body is struggling, it affects your spoons.
It might mean your body is using energy for healing and so you start the day with fewer spoons. Or maybe each task uses up more spoons so you run out faster.
There are a few key ways the body can be struggling that affects your spoons.
Generally, when the body is struggling with infection, inflammation, or a disease process, your spoon count will take a hit. If your brain and body don’t have the fuel they need, either because you are hungry or dehydrated, or missing something (like a neurotransmitter like dopamine or serotonin), then every task is going to use up more spoons, so you will go through spoons faster.